These last few days were socially entertaining. I went drinking and swimming with friends. That would be great if I didn’t feel like the 5th wheel. There were two couples. And me. A bit hard especially during the sleeping time when they were cuddling and I was wondering if screaming is an answer to at least some of my problems. At times like these I’d like to know if I’ll always be alone and these stolen few months with E will make me handicapped forever. Many questions, no answers and lack of communication. Hope he gets sunburned.
I also came back to making up stories. And watching male cartoon characters making out with other equally male cartoon characters. And knitting. And I do smoke sometimes. I drink nearly every day.
I don’t really like watching homosexuals making out. (I do not like watching anyone making out in particular); But I can tame cartoon characters so it’s all good. I even gave birth in one of my made-up stories. It was twins.
I think I might be wanting to kill myself.
Or watch another you-tube video.
